If you really want to know the many problems that lead to communication in marriage being hindered, then, you should definitely read this.
In that list, you will see the 20 common marriage problems that cause divorce.
From my experience marriages don’t drastically end because of the problems, perse’.
Marriages end because spouses don’t know how to work through those problems.
Every marriage has problems.
Spouses that learn how to positively and progressively deal with problems stay happily married.
Spouses that can’t deal with those problems, eventually file for divorce.
People usually don’t look at problems positively, and I get it.
Over time though, it would be wise to view problems as growth opportunities that make our marriages stronger.
Don’t be the spouse that does not positively use these growth opportunities to better your marriage.
No temptation has overtaken you except something common to mankind; and God is faithful, [a]so He will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.
1 Corinthians 10:13
Once you are aware of the problems, you can start to work on the solutions.
How to improve communication between husband and wife
Problems are complicated.
Do you know what often isn’t complicated?
What makes solutions seem complicated is, humans.
As imperfect and flawed beings we often simply don’t want to do what a solution to a problem calls for.
What solutions do problems call for
I like how this article talks about humility.
It’s a good read and I think it’s worth a look.
To sum it up and to make it concisely applicable to marriage, “humility is like the counter to pride or ego.”
Pride tends to say, “I’m right and you’re wrong!”
Humility says, “I may be right and I am willing to hear your point of view to check.”
Pride is by far, one of the most devastating hindrances to marriage.
Sometimes, someone is more responsible than the other person for a problem or problems happening in the marriage.
But, whether someone is more responsible or not, doesn’t matter.
The statement, “you are no longer two, but one flesh” spiritually intertwines you two and an insurmountable deep level.
Each of you has to be committed to showing effort.
A marriage can survive with only one person showing effort, but a marriage thrives with two people committed.
Change takes time.
We live in such a fast-paced world nowadays that we tend to expect everything we want to be given to us immediately.
But, change takes time.
Habits are often habits for years, if not decades.
They won’t change overnight.
I find it interesting that in the Bible patience is defined as “long-suffering”.
That definition follows the popular love phrase, “love is…”
When I think of long-suffering I don’t think of someone suffering because they think that love requires pain.
I think of long-suffering with the mindset that, unfortunately, we flawed people.
And, being flawed people, we often need time to get better, be better, behave better and do better.
If that time wasn’t given to us, graciously by people, who would have any meaningful relationships?
Constantly focusing on the problem, the pain, and the regrets don’t lead you past them.
Find something to focus on positively.
Once couples deeply understand the flawed nature of us all. And how God graciously loves us and cares for us despite that, becoming understanding with one another becomes easier.
Both my wife and I are not perfect, we each have our flaws.
Knowing that and understanding that helps to understand what we each have to deal with in one another.
Accountablity counters, the blame game.
My spouse did this.
My spouse did that.
They could have…
Why didn’t they…
Yes, they should do better and continually strive to treat you better in marriage.
However, in my experience, it is wiser to focus on what we can do better as spouses vs thinking about what our spouse can do.
If you focus on blaming your spouse for something, you can always find something your spouse does or doesn’t do to blame them for.
To Sum It Up
What hinders communication in marriage?
Many things, but if I had to pick one central idea it would be this.
“Spouses not taking accountability for their actions by actively and progressively working on the flaws they have in themselves that affect their marriage.”
What do you all think? Let me know in the comments.
What hinders communication in marriage?
What hinders communication in marriage the most is pride, ignorance, and the lack of desire to improve one’s self. .