This article is ironic, isn’t it?
You are currently reading a blog article, that contains words, that are communicating to you a message.
And the title of this article is “why is communication important in marriage.”
I think that’s funny. If you don’t, that’s fine. I’ll laugh to myself alone, no hard feelings.
“Get out! Meanie!”
Ok, I’m fine now.
Isn’t communication important in life period?
Whether we’re talking about communicating in marriage or we’re talking about communication in the workplace, communication is a vital component of any type of relationship.
Why is Communication Important in Life?
Perhaps the two most important types of communication in life are between man and God, and between human beings.
Communication is so vitally important to us as humans, that God, Himself(s) chose to send Jesus, a member of the trinity, to communicate with us His will.
Jesus came to communicate the will of the Father (the Bible) to God’s creation.
So what, Felice?! What does that prove?
Since those means were taken, don’t you think that demonstrates just how important communication is?
Let me take another approach.
God, the creator of all, could have chosen an infinite number of ways to communicate with His creations, why did He choose words?
Communication is important in all aspects of life.
Communication is important in the workplace.
Communication is important in education.
Communication is important between strangers.
So then, we would naturally assume that communication in marriage is also important. Especially since marriage is the most important type of relationship one will have.
Marriage represents the union between Jesus and the church. What type of relationship on earth, is more important than that?!
Why is Communication Important in a Relationship?
As human beings we have differences, and those differences need to be honestly and respectfully communicated(how you communicate), understood, and that understanding needs to be consistently applied through actions.
Let’s look at a simple example.
Men typically want to leave the toilet seat up when using the bathroom.
I can hear wives now, “but why?!”
Perhaps it’s because it’s easier to leave the toilet seat up than to have our wives complain about urine on the toilet seat.
(to be fair ladies, it’s as easy aiming the urine as you may think)
“Well, can’t you just leave the toilet seat down, then wipe any uring that falls on the seat?”
Yes. We can, and I have actually made a habit of that.
But….sheesh…that’s an extra step..! (I am man! Hear me roar!)
Women typically want to have toilet seats down.
I remember forgetting to put the toilet seat down one day…..
“Babeeeeeeee. Why didn’t you put the toilet seat down?!”
Yikes. And I think I forgot to flush that day too.
In that situation, each spouse obviously, will want their way.
Who is right? Who is wrong? Who gets their way? How do you compromise? Is there a compromise?
Each couple needs to find the answers to these questions through communication.
That was a simple, ‘toilet example’, but how about more complicated areas of disagreement in marriage?
How do you raise your kids?
What is the plan for managing finances?
How do you serve the Lord together?
I hope you understand better now why communication in marriage is important.
How to Communicate
God speaks through all believers through the Bible (2 Timothy 3:15), and that is all we need to live as believers in His world.
Many of His believers in this world will be married, and the Bible has plenty to say about how Christians are to communicate whether they are married in His world or not.
Spouses should seek to submit themselves to His Word and His instruction. Our obedience is what produces in us the fruits of good communication in marriage.
If we ever hope to learn how to communicate in our marriage better, we must stop trying to communicate our way, and communicate His way.
Avoiding Marriage Communication Problems
Replace, ‘our way’ of communication in marriage, with ‘His’ way.
Our way: If our spouse says something hurtful to us, we should respond the same way.
Especially since it immediately makes us feel good.
His way: 1 Peter 3-11, “He must turn away from evil and do good; he must seek peace and pursue it”.
Our way: We want to be able to say how we feel, when we feel it, the way we feel like saying it.
We naturally rather have no restraint in expressing ourselves verbally.
His way: Colossians 4:6 “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.“
Our way: Talking too much.
His way: James 1:19 “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger…”
Our way: We often don’t listen to understand, we listen to argue and prove our spouse wrong.
His way:Proverbs 18:2 “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.”
These are just a few examples, but, I am sure by now you get the point.
What we need to consistently do is judge ourselves fairly and honestly to see how and where we fall short of communicating as God would have us communicate in marriage.
And keep in mind, that by default as Christian we have a standard of communication as well.
To Sum it Up
Communication in marriage is important because communication is the means in which God created for spouses to learn to compromise the differences that His creations will have.
Improving communication in marriage often simply means learning to apply God’s revealed Word, His Scripture, consistently and appropriately to our communication.
We need to stop doing things our way.
We need to stop leaning on our own understanding and seek to apply His way of communicating in our lives.
It is a process, that takes time.
Maybe I can help with that process.